


you're just playing with me

by aishiteArtemis



Series: nobody believes kokichi [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bad Ending, How Do I Tag, I might make a sequel, M/M, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Oma Kokichi-centric, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Realistic, Sad bois, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, anyone else reminded of that story the boy who cried wolf?, i feel bad now, just me?, no, or maybe not?, poor ouma, would shuichi honestly believe him?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25827355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishiteArtemis/pseuds/aishiteArtemis
Summary: kokichi never intended to fall in love with the dark-haired detective, especially in the middle of a killing game, but then again, does anyone? the obvious route was to tell him, but kokichi's constant lies come back to bite him.based on a fanart i drew and thought 'this needs a story to go with it' (linked in the relevant part of the story)
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: nobody believes kokichi [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878961
Comments: 4
Kudos: 122





	you're just playing with me

It was that dark time in the middle of the night that some would call the witching hour. The halls and corridors of the school were darkened, thick shadows lurking around the edges that seemed like they were hiding something. All was silent.

Kokichi was awake.

He had tried to sleep, hours ago, but when you have too much on your mind, simple sleep is often something that does not come so easily. And Kokichi definitely had a lot to think about at the moment. After about two hours he had resigned himself to the fact that he would not be getting any sleep that night. Looked like he would be sitting up with only his thoughts for company.

Pacing around his room agitatedly, Kokichi found a scrap piece of paper, balled it up in frustration, and launched himself backwards onto the bed. A loud creak sounds through the room and he winced slightly, lying back and staring up at the ceiling.

It was that damned Shuichi again. Not that the detective boy had done anything wrong. Quite the opposite in fact. Everything about him was just so... perfect. Kokichi hadn't thought he was one for eyes in terms of attraction, but Shuichi's dark eyes were just... too pretty for words.

Around him, Kokichi would feel his usual blasé confidence melt away, as easily as ice on a hot summer's day. And without that confidence he often... blurted things. Blurting things was definitely not Kokichi's style, but he always got a strange feeling deep in his stomach, sort of happy yet very nervous, and although he managed not to trip over his words (Kokichi was not the Ultimate Supreme Leader by pure chance, he obviously had to be a good speaker), but he always felt he was precariously close to it.

 _Yes, I'm smitten_ , Kokichi sighed, launching the paper ball at the wall, where it rebounded and returned in time for him to catch it. _But to be honest, who wouldn't be? It's_ Saihara-chan.

There were a lot of things Kokichi hadn't known before he met Shuichi. That he liked pretty eyes. That people actually could have eyes that pretty (his certainly weren't like that). That just seeing someone could get him so tongue-tied. At he was even attracted to guys (although it was more the other things. Somehow he could sort of sense that gender wasn't really much of a factor in his attraction.) That someone could make him want to tell the truth for once.

Lies had always been part of his life, as long as he could remember. They were always so useful. He could say something, note the reaction, but then quickly backtrack by saying it was a lie. He could trick people into doing what he wanted, if he was clever enough with it. But most of all, he could use them to protect himself. A dark cloak woven from all the stories he'd spun, thick enough to cover all his insecurities and keep him safe.

And he wanted to shed that? Put himself out on the line, without so much as a safety net, for a pretty-eyed boy? It was honestly ridiculous when he though about it like that. However, his heart thought in a rather less logical way, perhaps because he wanted to fill that painful void somewhere in his chest.

The truth (and another thing Kokichi didn't want to admit) was that he was honestly just very lonely. Lying could protect you from the barbs of the bad people in the world, but it also shut you off from the good ones as well.

 _It's fine, though_ , Kokichi thought, chucking the ball and watching it rebound. I'm _fine. I can just enjoy my own company, just like I always have._

(Well, that wasn't technically true, as he did have his DICE members, by what he lacked was that one person, one that hanging out with them was like being alone, because they were like an extension of himself. But he wasn't comfortable with anyone like that, hence the lie-cloak.)

He threw the ball at the wall a few more times. Rearranged his small number of belongings. Put on his cloak (the physical one) and spun around to see it flow out around him. Bounced on the bed like a child.

No, he was still restless.

_Huh, maybe enjoying your own company is overrated._

Sighing again, Kokichi paced around his room. All he could think about was Shuichi. No, this was just a stupid crush, nothing more. With a lot of effort, the boy tried to force the cute-detective thoughts out of his mind, but it was no use. Giving in finally, he allowed the thoughts to flow back in and just stared into space for a while, consumed with happy daydreams where they were sfae, he and Shuichi were together, he could be honest for once-

Suddenly, it hit him. They weren't safe at all, they were in a killing game for goodness' sake, and he could die at any moment. And if that were true...

He honestly didn't have much to lose by telling Shuichi about his feelings.

Why not?

Kokichi, filled with a purpose for the first time that night, strode to the desk, and seeing the helpfully provided paper and envelopes, began to write a letter.

-

Around an hour later, Kokichi was surrounded by scrunched up paper balls to join his original one, the dark shadows under his eyes were more pronounced, but it was finished. In front of him lay a had written letter, in his familiar upright script, two pages long, and a clean white envelope beside to put it in.

Kokichi tried not to look at the words he'd written as he folded the paper to put it in the envelope. The kinds of things he'd said in that letter... were things he had never allowed outside of his own mind before. While he reminded himself this was what he wanted, he realised if he thought about it too much he was likely to scrap the whole thing and return to the little box of his comfort zone. So it was best to just get on with it.

Leaving the letter on the desk to deliver in the morning, Kokichi climbed back into bed, but once again sleep eluded him. He was too curious about what Shuichi would think of his letter. It was rather like when someone gave you money; burning a hole in his metaphorical pocket.

Well, he could just leave it outside his door.

A quick search of the room revealed Kokichi's shoes were nowhere to be found, so he retrieved the envelope and padded down the corridor in his socks to where he knew Shuichi's room was. 

Of course, he had planned to simply leave the note outside for Shuichi to find in the morning, but apparently fate had different ideas, because the ordinarily surefooted boy slipped in his socks and crashed into door with a loud bang.

Shaking his head slightly disorientedly, Kokichi managed to regain his footing just before the door opened.

"Kae-" began Shuichi, before he saw the slightly disheveled Kokichi. "Oh, Ouma. What are you doing here so late at night?"

His gaze was narrowed and suspicious, although rightfully so. It -was- awfully suspicious for Kokichi to be at his door in the wee hours of the morning. They were in a killing game after all.

Kokichi to a deep breath and smiled widely. "Nothing suspicious, Saihara-chan, I can assure you!" he grinned. "Just making a delivery."

Shuichi raised an eyebrow so, trying hard to keep his shaking hands still, he passed him the envelope.

"Open it, then!" Kokichi added with a tinge of very real excitement.

Holding the envelope at arm's length, Shuichi did so, then, detecting no trickery, removed the letter.

Kokichi held his breath as Shuichi's eyes scanned the words impassively. It took him several painful minutes to finish, during which Kokichi did his best not to fidget. It was only him revealing his biggest insecurities after all. Totally no biggie.

Shuichi finished reading, stared at the paper for a few moments, then neatly refolded it, returned it to the envelope, and passed it back to him.

"Wha- "

"Very funny, Kokichi," he scowled. "You can give it up now."

Looking thoroughly bewildered, Kokichi said, "How is it... funny, Saihara-chan?"

Shuichi glared at him. "You're just playing with me, aren't you? Are you finished now? Going to laugh and tell me 'it's a lie' again? I'm fed up of it."

Kokichi's eyes seemed to be filling up with water, so he blinked hard several times in an attempt to clear them. "It's not- " he began, but one look at Shuichi made it clear he'd already made up his mind, no merger what Kokichi said.

["Y-Yeah, it was just... a lie... of- of course..."](https://i.postimg.cc/Cxm9qPPX/36-CFB89-D-4693-4-C88-97-DF-DC8-FF474-A02-F.jpg)

Shuichi nodded sharply. "Thought so. Just leave me alone, Ouma."

"Okay," Kokichi managed, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice. He could only watch as the possible love of his life slammed the door in his face.

Walking back to his own room, at first he was mostly confused and angry. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised it might be karma or something like that. All the people he'd hurt, all the lies he'd told... all coming back to bite him.

Kokichi almost laughed through the tears that were involuntarily falling. How ironic that in the end, the one to sabotage him would be... his own dishonesty.

He collapsed on the bed. Now he _was_ tired, but more... mentally. He wished for some kind of comfort but realised none was coming. He'd burned all his own bridges and now he was getting his comeuppance.

Yeah, he was a terrible person. He realised that now. Selfish, mean, manipulative. He accepted that he deserved this.

But he couldn't help but wish karma had waited just one more day.

**Author's Note:**

> some people see kokichi as a lying bully, others see him as a misunderstood cinnamon roll, but i personally see him as a sad, lonely boy who lied to hide his insecurities because *moriarty voice* you gOtTa aDmIt tHaTs sExIEr. None of which excuses his actions, but I mostly just feel bad for him.  
> i love reading all the wholesome saiouma fanfics but i feel like this version is more realistic. however, if its wanted i can write a sequel or we can just leave this bad ending as it is.
> 
> update: sequel is up! just click next work.


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